My story
May 23, 2004, after an evening discussing their desire to adopt a child, my parents decide to start the ball rolling. They prefer a small girl of Chinese extraction around 2 years and that suits me fine ;o).
May 24, 2004mom makes some phone calls to various organizations in order to find out the procedure. They send mails for information Amarna and Enfants de l’Espoir. Meanwhile, my parents do nothing but speak about my arrival, of our life together…. They seek a first name for me… for the moment the list is long but different for Mom and Dad….
June 2, They receive a response of Amarna. This one contains: a short description of the various countries with which they work and a questionnaire to be completed. With the first reading, Mom overwrought, but by the third she realizes that all the answers are in their hearts. It now remains to put them in writting. So, my parents pass the evening answering the questions.
June 3, They update the answers to be more accurate. Mom asks her friend Véro to proof read. Meanwhile, Mom had contacted a women who brings her children to the ?Foyer Culturel? where she works and who adopted a little boy with Amarna.
June 4, my parents receive an answer from Enfants de l’Espoir. Mom contacts them for an information session. They go there on June 16 at 18h30. Meanwhile, they show the questionnaire from Amarna to Nanny and Papy which do not have any remark. They are very glad with the idea to have a grand-daughter and wondered when my parents were going to decide. It is sure, they like me already. As long as Mom and dad did not choose my first name, Nanny decided to call me JADE.
June 7, Mom and dad post the questionnaire and keep their fingers crossed. Mom is very afraid that their « application » will not be accepted. It is today that Mom meets Virginie at the ?Foyer Culturel?. She was happy with Amarna. This reassures Mom a little. It was nice to be able to talk to somebody who has experience, and to be able to ask questions…
June 10, Virginie spends one hour to explain all the steps, and leaves a box entirely filled with various documents concerning the adoption of her son. Mom is surprised by her proposal to entrust such important documents to her.
June 16 My parents meet the director and a psychiatrist of « Children of the Hope ». They receive documentation, as well as a description of the expenses for each country.
June 17, Nanny contacts a former colleague who adopted a small girl of Chinese origin. For them, everything went fine.
June 23, Mom telephones at Amarna to know the results of the questionnaire. she is informed it that there is no problem and that they can come on July 2 for a group meeting. My first name is known and certain: I will be called SHANI… I like it very much, do you ?
June 24, Mom returns the box to Virginie and discusses a little. Virginie tells that in case of questions, or need, Mom can always contact her.
July 2, my parents go to the meeting. They arrive first and look at photograph albums while waiting for the other couples. The welfare officer explains to the group the procedure for each country starting with China. She also explains why the law is changing and requests made before December 31 will not be extended. My parents learn that the waiting period is more or less 6 months. The psychological examination will take 3 months more or less. It is necessary to count 1 month and half for the constitution of the file. The welfare officer gives various documents to them: a convention, an application form and the budget for each country.
July 5, my parents send their application to Amarna.
July 6, Mom calls Amarna to have a first meeting with a psychologist. Amarna asks her to phone back next Tuesday in the afternoon.
July 13, Mom calls to find out the name of the psychologist who has been appointed to carry out their evaluation. Considering the period of the holidays, this will not be before next 12 August. Mom is very disappointed « to waste » 1 month. Mathias, my cousin, reassures her that that time will pass quickly.
July 14, Isabelle, a friend of mom, informs my parents about a conference about adoption and parentality will take place on 24 next July at Mont Godinne, they registered without waiting.
July 24, my parents attend the day conference. Conference given by Johanne Lemieux. Social worker in Quebec and having herself 3 adoptive children, they leanrt a lot. My parents buy his compilation of texts « the international adoption » which is in fact a very broad summary of the conference, as well as the book of Doctor Chicoine with whom he works « the child adoptive in the world (into fifteen chapter and half) ». While waiting for the first interview with the psychiatrist, my parents read, get information…. and leave on holiday to Italy but not without thinking of me which will arrive in a few months. I am not yet present physically but I already have a place in their hearts.
August 12, my parents have their first discussion with the psychiatrist. She is charming and explains to them how they will work. During the first meeting, they will discuss their desire to adopt. The second will be devoted to Mom, her desire, her past… and will be held on September 1. The third for dad will be on September 15. During 4th, which will be held on October 1, they will speak from my point of view.
August 19My parents make an appointment with the doctor who must provide a certificate of good health. He is unfortunately on leave and it is necessary to recall after the 30th.
August 26, Véro offers my first gift to me. (a Mickey’s moneybox)
August 31, Mom phones the doctor and makes an appointment for the 19th at 6 p.m..
September 1Mom has her personal discussion with the psychiatrist, during which she presents her family, describes her parents with her eyes of child, explains who was her model, briefly her first marriage, explains how Mom and Dad are together, how is dad, his qualities, his defects… the psychiatrist also asks her what represents of being mother, adoptive mother, what Mom wants to transmit to me of education that she received… then she asks her whether Mom has fears. Mom explains the changes of life which they already began following their desire for becoming parents. They discuss the mourning of the biological child then….
September 15 Dad saw same interview more or less as Mom with the psychiatrist.
September 19 My parents go in the doctor who asks a bunch of questions to them about their medical past, he gave both a medical and gave them a blood test… the whole very quickly over ! If there is no problem he will send the documents to Amarna if not, he points them out.
October 1 Dad and Mom turn up together to see the psychiatrist and discuss from my point of view, my abandonment, my needs… At the end of the appointment, the psychiatrist reassures Mom by explaining to her why if she had detected a serious problem, she will have already said it. She gives a questionnaire to them to be filled in and returned to the welfare officer. Mom asks Véro if she wants to be my tutor. Indeed, China requires of the future adopting parents to appoint a tutor for the case where the parents would be in the incapacity to take care of their child. Véro is very proud and accepts readily this role. She does not know it yet but she will be my godmother… My parents already chose 2 godmothers and 1 godfather for me… They wait still a little before asking them…
October 3 My parents spend the whole day answering the questionnaire. It only remains to write a text « Parental capabilities and project of life for our child ».
October 9 they make the last updates of the questionnaire and write the text. Nanny and Papy proof checked it.
October 14, Mom telephones to Amarna who gives us the name of the welfare officer who is assigned to us. She tries to call her several times but without answer. She leaves a message on her answering machine. The following day, Mom again tries to call the welfare officer several times in the day but always without success. Around 7 p.m. we have finally a phone call from the welfare officer who fixes up an appointment on saturday 23 around 10h30. Quickly quickly, there is bread on the board. Mom wants the house spotless. Mom is so stressed with the idea of being refused, that she undertakes to repaint my room to refresh the walls and Michele, her friend, comes to help her for a great spring-cleaning a bit in advance.
October 23 10h30, the welfare officer arrives. She found her way very easily. We settle in the veranda
because she must take some notes. She takes again the questionnaire which we had answered and asks for details on the answers which she did not understand very well. Dad must explain his work more clearly. This is not easy for him. The appointment lasts approximately 4 hours. Fortunately that Mom had prepared a small meal for noon. When the welfare officer leaves, my parents are drained, exhausted. Especially my dad, who is usually so patient had so hard to keep his calm. Mom never him so stressed.
Friday November 5, Mom telephones in Amarna to know if they discussed our file. After a little wait, they announce that they have been accepted… they will be able to adopt me. My parents have an appointment at Amarna Monday following to 10 a.m. to receive the explanations relating to the file to be prepared and send to China. Mom is finally relieved, now she knows that she will finally be a mom. She warns all the close friends/collegues/acquaintances who are all super happy and send their congratulations. The evening, my parents celebrate a meal at the Greek restaurant « Athéna ». It is the first restaurant where Dad took Mom.
November 8, Amarna gives them the procedure to supplement the file to be sent in China. Amarna makes the request at the ACAI and makes a photocopy of the ID cards of my parents. They also take care of the form which will accompany the file and gives the doctor’s certificates of my parents. In the afternoon, Mom goes to the commune of Gosselies to ask for the necessary documents (birth certificate of dad, their marriage certificate, their character reference, their new passports) and telephones the commune of Tournai for the documents relating to her (her birth certificate and act of divorce of her first wedding). The documents arrive very quickly from Gosselies, but those of Tournai took much more time to arrive. But no panic, it is necessary in any case to count a month to obtain the agreement of the ACAI.
January 12, my parents have appointment at Amarna with 11h00 to gather all the documents for the file.
January 14, Dad deposits my file with the notary to authenticate it. He recovers it next Monday.
Wednesday January 19 Mom takes the photocopies of the file (2 specimens: 1 for Amarna, 1 for the translator). The following day, dad deposits the 2 copies at Amarna. (for them and for the translator). My parents keep the original for the moment. It is now necessary to count a month to receive the translation.
February 8, Amarna notified them that the translation was available !
February 9, my parents go to Amarna where it is necessary to check everything and give the documents in the order of the form while always starting with the Chinese document. After which Mom will make 3 photocopies of the complete file (1 for Amarna, 1 for me and 1 for them).
February 10 my parents go to the Ministry for Foreign Affairs to legalize the file. The embassy of China being closed for Chinese New Year’s day, they will go on February 14th. My file will remain a few days there. It is on February 21 when my parents retrieves my file and deposits it at Amarna. They are told that they still await some files and that they send the whole this week.
Finally, my file was sent on February 23.
Begin of the waiting period now. It is necessary to count 6 to 7 months before the Chinese authorities send my picture and my medical file to my parents…. It is very long 6 – 7 months…. but it is necessary to be patient… soon I will have parents.
PS: Thanks Andrew to have checked this text 🙂
